


Rain

by Byxl



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Friendship, Light Angst, M/M, Monsta X Bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 08:16:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9875858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Byxl/pseuds/Byxl
Summary: And every time, he looks back at the time, he can see Minhyuk smiling.And that is all he needs.





	

**Author's Note:**

> My second entry for the Bingo with the prompt: Frienship  
> I hope you like it!

 

_17_

 

When Kihyun turned seventeen, Minhyuk was the only one to congratulate him.

They were stuck in Kihyun's room, a smalll light creating some light for them to see, while they were sitting across each other on a simple matress laid out on the floor for Minhyuk to sleep. Rain was pouring against the windows, while Minhyuk was silently singing along to 'Happy Birthday', which seemed to sound sadder than usual and Kihyun was rocking back and forth, smiling.

It was the fact that Lee Minhyuk was the only person in his world, who cared for him, that had him smile so hard, his cheeks were hurting, but he kept smiling. To show Minhyuk he was fine.

They passed midnight and while silence took over their conversations, Kihyun just started staring at Minhyuk, wondering what the latter was thinking about right now. 

The rain was hitting against the window, making it the only sound able to be heard and though he usually would get annoyed by it – the frequent hits were making him insane – he grew to enjoy it on that night. It seemed to calm his beating heart for a while before it continued to beat again – faster than usual.

Maybe it was the fact that Minhyuk was sitting right in front of him, staring at the rain-painted window looking as beautiful as always or maybe it was the fact that Kihyun was not supposed to look at the other the way he did. Because they were friends and friends were supposed to stay friends, right?

Minhyuk stops looking, his glistering eyes glancing back to Kihyun and he forces out a smile and while he looks like he was about to cry, he says, firm and raspy, „Happy Birthday, Kihyun.“, again, though he already did, minutes ago, and Kihyun wonders, why he was looking so sad when he said that.

He doesn't think about it twice when he leans forward, hand pressing down against the matress, creating a hole, eyebrows furrowed, „What's wrong?“ passing his lips and Minhyuk gulps; once, twice, before he looks back to Kihyun, eyes scared.

„I don't want you to hate me.“ He mutters, head shaking while his first tear rolls down his cheeks and he was clutching onto the pillow so tight, Kihyun feared it would rip.

„Tell me.“ He just says, „I'm not going to hate you. I never will.“ 

His head was starting to feel dizzy, Minhyuk's fidgeting making him slightly nervous and the silence made it almost unbearable for him to keep calm. He didn't want Minhyuk to fear him getting angry or sad; Minhyuk was the only person he cared about; the only person, who cared for him, so why would he ever start hating him without any reason?

„I love you.“ The older suddenly says, eyes not looking at him, glued onto the blanket, „I like you though I know, I shouldn't. Please, don't hate me for saying this.“ 

Tears were soaking the matress, a bunch of ugly sobbings sounding through the room, but Kihyun couldn't answer; couldn't make out a proper sentence to say back, because, though he was glad, he wasn't. He was just staring outside the window, watching the raindrops as his eyes grew darker with each second passing.

When Minhyuk asked him, if he wanted to reply, Kihyun shook his head.

Without really understanding what was happening, he told Minhyuk to leave as quickly as possible and to get away, he needed time to think.

But he didn't think.

Didn't want to think about Minhyuk deciding to fall for him, when he was trying to prevent himself from doing so.

An endless night went by like this, when he was supposed to feel happy, glad, relieved.

But it didn't turn out that way at all.

Soon later, they started walking different paths.

Started walking out of the other's sight, out of each other's life; a friendship that was supposed to last a lifetime was cut off after three years in hope they could grow with all the scars that were still left.

 

 

_21_

 

The next time Minhyuk hears of Kihyun again, it was another rainy afternoon and he was sitting in a cheap Cafe, hoping for time to pass quickly.

Fingers tapping against the papercup placed in front of him, while his eyes are glued to the black umbrellas walking back and forth. It's an endless process.

It's the completely soaked stranger, that caught his attention and he dares to look away from the streets for a while to stare over, when his eyes meet Kihyun's and he halts, stops breathing.

The same pair of orbs stare at him, cut right through his heart and make him feel weird inside. It felt awkward, yet familiar, to look at Kihyun for longer than socially acceptable while sitting in a run-down Cafe with less than five other customers sitting inside.

He looked just as beautiful as he always did. With his glistering eyes and his delicate features that haven't changed even though he had matured over the years. To Minhyuk's surprise, he was wearing pink hair as well – a change, that had him staring longer than he was supposed to.

And when Kihyun looks around, Minhyuk wished for one last smile to pass those lips, just for a second.

But Kihyun didn't smile. Instead, he finds something and walks over to another table, confident as ever, and when he passes Minhyuk, his scent was different from before. It was a strong, flowery perfume that he was holding now instead of the youthful sweet scent he used to have before.

Minhyuk forces himself to look away, tries to deafen himself by listening to music and just continues sipping on his coffee that was already cold.

He could feel tears well up out of nowhere, could feel himself choking on them and tells himself to stop; Kihyun doesn't care about him anyway.

Emptying his cup, he stands up, leaves the Cafe after taking one last glance at Kihyun. It made him sick how he was still feeling like this, when he was supposed to move on.

He, who was already grown up. A twenty-one year old grown-up man was still looking after this last piece that was supposed to be the old Kihyun. It probably wasn't, but he would like to think Kihyun was still the Kihyun of his memories. Just to make his heart feel fine at night, when he would catch himself stay up longer than usual.

It was probably stupid of himself to think like that, when times have passed. Four years have went by like nothing and he still finds himself looking after Kihyun, who seems so distant, so far away.

Like a beautiful masterpiece that doesn't let others come closer, Kihyun was slowly turning away and Minhyuk was just too slow to realize.

Maybe, it was already too late.

 

 

_19_

 

When Hyungwon asked him about Minhyuk, he told him there was nothing.

Minhyuk was just a past memory, he was trying to erase and Hyungwon laughed and when he asked why, he said „You two were always stuck together. It's funny how it changed so quickly.“ and now that he thinks about it, it's indeed a bit funny.

Kind of ridiculous, if he would describe it himself.

For the past two years, he has been trying to avoid the certain friend of his and it's really childish if you think about it, but he just couldn't stop it now.

The streets were empty outside and on nights like these, he usually really enjoys staring outside the window, thinking about what went wrong and how he ended up like this;

Maybe he had over-reacted that night; maybe he didn't explain it properly – he just knows by now that he had fucked up pretty bad that night, but at least he can remind himself of Minhyuk's smile and that's all that matters.

His pretty smile, that meant the world to him and that always looked so bright in his eyes, that he feared Minhyuk was just too different to match with him.

In a world full of strangers he was the only one; the only one, who had turned around to reach after him. 

And with every step Kihyun had took away since that night, two years ago, he seemed to go back to the same place he used to be before; alone, without anyone to hear him out, to understand him.

The window was clear; a bit dirty but most of the times it was neat and clear. A tiny light shone through the glass and Kihyun watches the stars; tiny, almost impossibly to count, but they were shining in the most beautiful way that it caught his attention immediately.

Sometimes, when it hits a certain time of the day, he would suddenly find himself tearing up, choke on his tears until he would tell himself to go to sleep – he was getting too tired.

It's weird, difficult to handle, because he just doesn't know what is happening, but it's just suddenly hits him and he starts crying out of nowhere and he hates it; it's stupid, but it just doesn't stop.

'It will disappear', he will tell himself again and again, but it's doesn't.

Maybe it's the scars that were trying to make him realize his mistakes, but if it really is, he just hopes for it to disappear. Because he had realized already. He reminds himself of it every day.

Just for one day.

Just for one day, he hopes he could match eyes with Minhyuk, make himself talk to him and say he was sorry. Sorry for hurting his feelings and maybe then, the latter would understand, that he didn't hate him; never did to begin with.

He was just scared.

Scared, Minhyuk would let go of his hand that was trying to reach for him so much that it was hurting.

But it was over now.

And the only thing that is left is the tears-soaked face and that faked smile and the way how Kihyun screamed at him to get lost.

That's all that's left now.

 

 

_23_

 

He was standing on the other side of the street, holding onto the blue umbrella, that was showing him the way, not caring about anything at all.

Kihyun stares at him; wonders, why Minhyuk was glaring at his phone so intensly, that he had missed the past two green lights already, but it then makes him realize that he had spend the last ten minutes waiting for the latter to catch on as well.

His left ear-phone falls out of his ear, while he was trying to make some space for a woman, who was trying to walk pass him and he shrieks, almost in silence, but this time Minhyuk looks up, stares at him – his eyes burying right through him.

Panic washes over and the moment the light turns green, Minhyuk starts walking and Kihyun does the same; hasty, quick steps try to get him away from the place he was standing at, pools of rain splashing up and down. He doesn't know why, but it makes his heart beat faster, when he hears steps behind him, trying to meet his pace, but Kihyun just keeps on walking, in hope for Minhyuk to go away.

Though he wants him to stay.

A hand lands on his shoulder, a familiar voice tells him to „stop for a second“ and Kihyun knows, he shouldn't - he has been hurting for the last years anyway - but he still does it, matches eyes with Minhyuk's, that look so hurt; in Pain.

What feels like hours, is just a span of seconds that Minhyuk stares at him until he finally dares to talk, raspy, almost hoarse, „I'm sorry.“

But there was nothing to be sorry for.

It should've been Kihyun to say all these things. Should have been Kihyun, who was trying to hold onto him so he could forgive him, but it isn't.

After all these years, it's still Minhyuk, who was smiling through his tears, cheeks hurting, hands trembling and it's unfair, but otherwise, it wouldn't be the same.

„I'm sorry.“, he repeats again and the rain slowly washes away his tears, but his hand was still shaking, trying to hold onto the umbrella and Kihyun just smiles, not more.

He reaches his hand out to hold onto Minhyuk's umbrella as well; to steady it for Minhyuk to not get soaked in the rain and Minhyuk stops crying at that point, stops talking and then, after minutes of silence, he forces out another smile, which does kind of look fine - not faked and just genuinly happy.

„I'm really sorry.“, Minhyuk mutters, eyes staring right through him for Kihyun to see how much he means it and the latter just chuckles, though there was nothing to be laughing about, lifts his hand to run it over Minhyuk's hair, feeling the soft locks just for a second, before he just turns away, continues walking, leaving Minhyuk standing alone, perplexed. 

He takes five steps forward and then turns around, flashing a smile as if nothing was wrong and he mumbles „I know.“ and goes on, his umbrella slowly disappearing among all the others and Minhyuk just watches him go.

 

Kihyun smiled like that, with his dimples popping out and his teeth showing, making him look like the happiest person in the world and that's all that matters.

 


End file.
